Not just ‘visitors’: partners in care
R&RA hosted a special episode of the podcast series The Caring View, to share the voices of relatives.
In a hard-hitting episode of the popular podcast, three R&RA members and supporters spoke powerfully to share their experiences of being a relative to someone living in care. Emotional testimonies revealed the vital role relatives play as carers, advocates and confidants - providing practical and emotional support as well as love and companionship.
“I've never doubted that the carers do a good job ... but they can't care as a husband cares for a wife, or a daughter cares for a mother.” John
Ann, John and Helen revealed how it felt when their relationship with the care home became strained or broke down. The powerlessness they experienced and the fear of not wanting to raise concerns or problems for fear of things getting worse.
“One day, three things that had gone wrong in mum’s care home. I sat behind the bedroom door thinking "do I tell them about this and this, or just this? I can't face telling them about all three!" What a dreadful situation to be in. You pick which things you dare bring up that day.” Helen
The heart-breaking stories, echoing what R&RA hear daily on our helpline, exposed the battle relatives face to be seen as not just 'visitors'.
“Why are we having to justify to the care sector that our parents are a vital part of our lives? Our husbands and wives? If you had to justify the time spent with your family, how would you feel about that?” Ann
The show contained tips and insights on good practice and how care staff can work with relatives to benefit from a partnership with them. As the relative knows their loved one best and can help the resident to communicate their likes and needs, they can be a key source of assistance to care staff. Of course, everyone is different and relatives will want different levels of engagement. But taking the time to get to know the relative and what they’d like to support with will save time and energy in the long-run. Better for care staff, better for the relative and, most importantly, better for the person needing care.
Watch the episode on The Caring View.